emergingfree

Christian and Socially-Conscious…One Woman's Expression

Archive for the tag “marriage”

A Girl’s Voice?

Do you think we (as a society) coax girls to find their voices? Last night, I was watching a documentary on Richard Pryor. It told the story of when Pryor found his voice. Supposedly, he was in the middle of a comedy routine when he had this epiphany. It resulted in him walking off the stage. It was thought that his career, by abandoning his set, was done. Years later, he emerged as the comedian most now know—powerful, purposeful, and a change agent.

By the time girls graduate from high school, most have seriously thought about being a mother. When would be a good time? How many children to have, if any at all? How does having children fit into pursuing professional goals? These are questions many of us seriously consider, along with our ticking biological clock.

Some girls have high school sweethearts, making the dream of marriage (forever) more believable. No one is thinking about the divorce rate, which has lingered around 50% for some time now. Nope. Teenage love….well, some marriages last, right?

Since the early days of toting baby dolls and “playing house”, girls have been encouraged to be a parent, a caretaker, a wife, a nurturer, and if necessary a financial provider. Through music, movies, magazines, and media, girls (and women) are encouraged to be sex objects at all times. When, however, is she urged to find her voice if it lies outside of these predetermined boxes? When is she pushed to discover her unique self, her purpose, and her power? ….And for those of us who are…oh how odd we must seem.

Girl Holding Up Award

Saying “I Do” or Nah…

Months ago I watched Belle, the movie, and absolutely loved it. It gave me something to think about and I LOVE it when that happens. One of my favorite scenes is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pmbty0RLpy8
As you can imagine, it left a lasting impression.

After watching the movie, I had an honest conversation about the idea of marriage with a man. I was interested in hearing his views on the topic. We all know that there are numerous reasons for tying the knot. When I was younger, I thought most people married for love. With the divorce rate slowly increasing in the United States since 1970, like The Black Eyed Peas I too began to question Where Is the Love.

As I began to meet people of different cultures and lifestyles, I began to hear modern-day discussions on the business of marriage. I initially took note of how within these circles, such conversations were very matter-of-fact and socially acceptable. I was aware how common these negotiations are if the couple divorces. I seemed to have missed its importance on the front-end. Such talks seem wise and some may say faith-founded.

I am glad I was able to share honest thoughts with the man to whom I was speaking. I listened to his position of how a woman should help a man be his best self, but as I asked him, “What about the woman? Who is helping her evolve into her best, complete self?” If both remained committed to supporting each other’s evolution, then together the two can be a unified best self. That would be great, but is it more common than not?

I can easily see advantages men gain from marrying. No doubt, women acquire valuable benefits as well. In no way am I writing against marriage. As in Belle I am simply posing the question, “Is marrying likened to a woman begging for a master, especially women who are financially-secure?” Considering that in the minds of many women are still referenced as property, I’m still wondering……..

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