emergingfree

Christian and Socially-Conscious…One Woman's Expression

Archive for the tag “generalizations”

Excuse Me Little “Black” Girl—Part 2

Rock-a-bye baby in the tree top….  Excuse me little “Black” girl, I wonder about you.  YES, YOU!  I wonder how many of you have experienced a period of peace, a time when you had no worries and was carefree.  I wonder if you have two loving parents, parents who often tell and show you that they love you.  Do you tell and show them that you love them?  YES, I mean ACTUALLY SAY  the words:  I-LOVE-YOU-Mom-Dad.  Do you come from a loving home, a place where you are valued and protected, encouraged and supported, challenged and taught?  Is your foundation solid or is it shallow?  I wonder…about you.

Sad Girl

When the wind blows the cradle will rock…. Have you experienced bullying–on the playground or in the classroom?  Have you ever been picked last because you are a girl?  Has a teacher overlooked your raised hand to call on Jim, not that his hand was raised but because he should know science?  Have you ever been teased for being too light or too dark, for not being Black enough?  Have you been told that you think you are white, talk like you are white, act like you are white?  Have you struggled to understand what this means, and what this really means for you?  Do you embrace your uniqueness or do you try to fit in?  When the wind blows, what do you do?

Unique

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall….  I wonder if you are aware of the injustices that await you in this world–injustices related to your gender, to your race, to your gender and to your race.  I wonder about your preparation for being a healthy, well-balanced being operating in a world that defines so much around gender, race, and economics.  I wonder about your preparation as I think about my own.

Mom and Daughter

 

You see, there is a need to introduce race and gender scenarios to you in safe environments so you can ask questions and get answers, so you will learn to analyze matters for yourself without depending on media messages and mainstream citations to parrot.  As you go forth to be boldly brilliant, you will see some heart aching events.  Some, you will experience firsthand.  Allow yourself to grow in maturity, to experience a range of emotion.  Grow in patience and in perseverance.  Being you, being Black and female, is not a bad thing.  It is a blessed thing.  You will gain insight and strength unlike no other.  You will see that storylines have been created for you, but that you are created to create headlines.  Write your own script once you have captured their attention.  Be open to diverse friendships.  Live outside of confined narratives.  When the bough breaks, change the ending.  Surprise some people and soar!

Soar

SPEAK Your Successes

I read something so troubling yesterday that it pained my soul.  Why?  Well, it was a description of a community by a writer who does not know that community, to an audience (who I would like to think is) genuinely curious.  The article I read was one of two things, truth or blatantly offensive.  Either way, the commentary is sad, but it sells.

Unsettled, I actively pulled up the perimeter of the community of focus.  I did so to compare, in fact, the picture painted  in the article with the one in my head.  Maybe I was being too optimistic in thought?  It is possible.

Actual people and families living within this targeted area flooded my thoughts.  I began to identify (by name) residents within these boundaries who, contrarily to the writer’s depiction:

  • live with their spouses,
  • parents who take care of their children,
  • are educated and believe in the value of education,
  • work and work hard,
  • are faith-filled and faithful,
  • are respectful and respected,
  • actively strive for success,
  • are not criminals,
  • are not receiving any form of “free” governmental assistance,
  • and so and so forth.

I began to list residents who, if you are in distress, they will take a moment to listen, and to help.  I began to note people of and from that community who have done and are doing positive and amazing things.  The list is long and growing, and silenced.  The sadness of my soul grew heavier.

You know, people have their own agendas when telling your story.  Far too many times, far too many people consent to other people’s versions about their lives because they do not know (for themselves) their assets, their value, their history, their truth.  Once you understand that your very presence is a miracle, that alone should give you life.  Once you accept that your life is one of purpose, that your value is too great to be measured, that your destiny is greatness, you will understand that your responsibility to be great is owed not only to yourself, but to those who sacrificed before you and to those who will follow.  You will recognize that the inspiration and focus which lives within you is intentional, disallowing you to accept another person’s truth about your circumstance.  You will know you for yourself.  It is for them to accept, or not.  Either way, you are not deterred.

A few years ago, I learned that there is a language of success.  SPEAK it!  Insecurities may tempt you to hide the good of your life.  People will be jealous.  Oh well.  People will talk about you for being true.  Shrug.  People will attempt to be stumbling blocks.  Rise above them.  These people should not be walking close to you anyway.  Be thankful that you can recognize them.  Do not be bitter.  Be better!

Speak your successes!  People will be happy for you!  Some you will see.  Some you will not.  Be encouraged.  People will help you!  People will watch you.  People want to see positive manifestations in both people and in situations.  Be honest.  You want to see it too!

Speak your successes!  SHINE and SHINE BRIGHTLY!  Do not apologize for being your best self.  You will draw onto you new associations, new experiences, new opportunities which will challenge you to be all you can be.  You will challenge theirs.

Speak your successes so that when others share their versions of you for their gain, the audience will have a rebuttal.  One rebuttal may be considered an exception.  One rebuttal will make a truth not absolute.  Just think…..a non-absolute truth presented in an absolute way…well…..that is a lie.

Be Well,

3.26.15 Instant hand on neck - Copy

Where Are You From?

I decided to try something new this week…… YES, a video post!  (It was a spur of the moment thing.  LOL!!!)  OK, I am new at this so keep that in mind, but I am enjoying trying new things!  (NOTE:  The end cuts off a little prematurely….Sorry!  It is still a good discussion piece though.)  What new thing have you tried lately?

Opening Doors

Recently one of my male friends and I were talking and I mentioned how I like when guys open doors for me. He was shocked.

“What,” I asked.

woman.door

Apparently because I am vocal in my support of women advancing and enhancing ourselves as women, he interpreted me as wanting to do everything myself. Really, who wants to do everything his/herself? I am not living isolated on an island. Help a sister!

For a brief second I was taken aback by his extreme assumption. He looked at me with a smile and said, “You continue to amaze me.” Isn’t it funny how generalizations affect how people “see” YOU? I loved the conversation that followed.

I told him that just because I can open a door does not mean to me that when situations arise, a man should halt himself from opening it for me. I totally support women who want to open (all of) their doors. In truth, most doors I walk through I open…and hold open for others. Still, I definitely take note of guys who reach for the handle first and allow me to step in. It is nice.

“You are like me then,” he said, “except you are more vocal.”

“I have to be more vocal if I want things to improve,” I explained, “I’m in an oppressed demographic. It is because I am a member of this demographic that I am not just like you. There lives your ‘exception’.” As I told him, if more men would take that same chivalrous attitude and open more doors for us at professional decision-making tables there may not be a need for him to refer to me as “pro-woman”. He chuckled. I winked. I was serious (though).

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