emergingfree

Christian and Socially-Conscious…One Woman's Expression

Archive for the tag “daughters”

Commentary On The Land Of The Free, Home Of The Brave

Am I the only one disturbed about the female, (societally-labeled) Black student being yanked —-wait, no…that is too mild of a description—ripped from a desk while seated, body-slammed, dragged, and….well, was she tossed by a much bigger, stronger, male School Resource Officer who appears to be (societally labeled) “white”?  For some reason, I mistakenly thought that this would be a hot topic today.  Maybe it was….somewhere?  This is heartbreaking; This is real news.  Oh well, maybe tomorrow this storyline will broadcast more.

Forgive me if Lamar and Khloe’s marriage is not of interest to me.  I am sorry not sorry that political talking points bore me when those talking points do not ever seem to point to the injustices within The Land of the Free, The Home of the Brave if such points offer no dividends, fail brown paper bag tests, and struggle to value its women and girls.

In a classroom full of people, just one reportedly attempted to come to the helpless student’s defense.  That one is said to have been another female, (societally labeled) Black student.  I am not surprised by this.  Consciously or subconsciously, she identified with the victim.  Now I ask you, “Why are we, humans, failing to identify with each other?”  Generation after generation, beliefs go unchallenged which keep people divided.  At the end of life, how silly these things must seem when real matters find priority.

As I sit here, I wonder if I am the only one asking myself, “What kind of culture are we living in where people are conditioned to just sit and watch atrocities occur without so much as a consideration?”  Have we become desensitized as a people, of people?  Then, I think of history.  We can send people to the moon, but seem to struggle with tolerating respecting accepting loving one another.  Millions of people attend faith-based services weekly where love is the taught foundation, yet their acts of love are…….well, where are they?  I want to hear more of those stories.  I want to smile while watching the ripple effects of small acts of kindness.  Am I alone?

Several times, I have watched the video of this excessive force against this young, female student who happens to be (societally labeled) Black.  With each viewing, thoughts surface about the ill-treatment of people based on race, on gender, on ageism, on power, or the lack thereof…..  These thoughts surface, but the perpetuated silence on these topics will hold their posts in keeping The Land of the Free, The Home of the Brave paradoxical.

3.26.15 Instant hand on neck - Copy

A Message From Grandmother

I had a conversation with one of my grandmothers this evening.  If we are fortunate enough, we all should take time out of our busy lives to listen to their messages.  Admittedly, we do not agree on everything.  To me, it is not important that we do.  Our love supersedes any disagreement.

Mother-Daughter

There was a time when I would feel the need to express all of my views to my grandmother.  If a subject matter arose and her opinion differed from mine, I would not hesitate to let her know it.  Naively, I thought we were just having a conversation.  What I had not realized was how passionate a speaker I can be at times.  (In addition, I had not learned the power of my words.) 

I am grateful to my mother, however, for her constant reminders to let it go.  How silly I must have looked to my mother.  There I would be, intensely arguing my position to a woman whose viewpoints were significantly shaped by decades of life experiences, not mere textbooks and news articles.  Because of my mother’s guidance and example, I have since learned that I gain more wisdom in the long-run by unilaterally agreeing to disagree in silence.  In truth, these disagreements do not happen much.  When they do, however, I am more mindful of how to express myself and when to let her talk without interruption.  By creating an environment in which she feels comfortable expressing herself, I can enjoy chats like the one we had tonight.  I can experience her telling me that she loves me, her laughter, her joy.  I can hear more of her life, her challenges, her victories, and her wants for my life.  She can bestow within me insight and hope for a better tomorrow; I believe in its possibility because I can see that her “tomorrows” are better.

Oh how I love seeing the brightness in my grandmother’s face when she smiles.  It makes me happy.  Her love is a blessing, as well as her honesty.  Without knowing it, she has taught me to always consider the BIG PICTURE of communication.  What is its purpose?  What is the heart of the speaker?  How important is the topic of discussion to me, really?

I do not expect, nor do I prefer, those in my intimate circle to be carbon copies of myself.  There are particular character traits that each must have, but I appreciate being a part of a diverse, mature circle.  I am stronger for it.  I am wiser because of it.  Certainly, I am more blessed.

Mommy Messages

I saw this Dove commercial and found myself thinking about what body image messages I may have internalized from my mother. In case you have not seen it, this is the commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pqknd1ohhT4
Truth is, I don’t remember my mom talking about her body much. This is not to say that she didn’t have insecurities. I just don’t recall her talking about them. I do remember, however, her commenting on how she loved her calves. It wasn’t like she walked around and said this a lot, but I can recall on several occasions when she would speak positively about them.

My mom played tennis as a child. When she would talk about her calves, she would also mention her involvement in sports. I, in turn, interpreted her conjunction to mean that the development of her calves were the result of her playing sports. Who knows if she meant it that way?

In high school I played sports. It was then when people would first begin to compliment my calves. All of those running and weight-lifting drills helped to bring them out (I guess). Admittedly, I have always loved my calves because they (are and) look strong like my mom’s. It’s funny how children pick up on the slightest things, both spoken and unspoken.

In thinking about it, my mom never made a big deal about wearing make-up. If she puts some on, it’s really light. This is probably why I have no problem being in public without make-up. I love my skin color and embrace my smartness. Yes, my mom loves her skin color and she’s pretty smart too. On the other hand, it did not take long for me to understand the importance of getting my hair straighten. I don’t know which came first, watching my mom get her hair straighten or sitting in my grandmother’s kitchen getting my hair pressed. Either way, I understood its messaging. Today, I do not put any hair straighteners on my hair. I actually prefer it in its natural state and have not worn it straighten in any style in years. This is not to say that I am opposed to it; I just have not. Again, I made this hair decision after my mom made hers.

These examples could be coincidental or they may illustrate that even in adulthood mothers are a powerful influence on body image messaging. I think mothers are more influential than the messages we receive from society and from our peers. I am not so sure if all mothers realize this, that it is a part of their legacy. Dove does and I appreciate its commercial. It made me think about myself and about the state of girls today. I wonder if they were asked, what their responses would be. I wonder if some mothers, based on their daughters answers, would try to rewrite the script.

Mother-Daughter

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