emergingfree

Christian and Socially-Conscious…One Woman's Expression

Can You See me Now?

Isn’t it strange when people appreciate you more when you are no longer around?  Really, what is that about?

The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.  And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, heard his cry and saw he had died, he said, “Surely this man was the Son of God!”  —Mark 15:38-39

Sometime last year I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine.  In that conversation she said, “But, they see you now.”  They see me now?  Nah!  Really?  Although generally speaking I am not always convinced, I have not forgotten those words.  People see what they want to see and that is not always Truth, in fact.  Because of this, I have learned to find satisfaction in God’s provided peace.

After some heartbreak, disappointment, and frustration, I eventually surrendered to a Will much greater than mine in a way much deeper than before.  Initially, I was so exhausted that I just rested there, in that place of peace…for weeks.  I was healing, being rejuvenated, growing stronger; gaining clarity, increased discernment and wisdom.  During this time, I began to do more things that makes me smile, with people who makes me laugh.  I began dreaming again, meeting more people, and trying new things.  I began having fun again.  Even in the midst of storms, I have been at peace.  It felt similar to the feeling of getting a massage after running for miles.  At some point, I knew I had to get up from “the table”.  People were reminding me.  Then, His Spirit inspired me.

Woman Standing On Rock

Through it all, I have learned that it is at that place of surrender (which is a constant occurrence) where more people can see me as a Child of God.  His Light shines bright.  Some will appreciate that.  Some will not.  Some will want me to leave. (LOL!)  Others will find value in my stay.  I understand this better now.  I understand it without being influenced by an emotional attachment.

It is not important for me to be seen, but instead He who lives in me.  So, when people tell me, “You are different,” I understand what they may not.  I am resembling my Father.  Sometimes His image is seen when I am present.  At times, it is seen once I have left.  As long as He is seen, that is what is important.  I have grown.

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